Thursday, June 22, 2017

Get The Girl (2017)

DIRECTOR: Eric England


Eric England
Graham Denman


Justin Dobies
Elizabeth Whitson
Noah Segan
Scout Taylor-Compton
Jerry Purpdrank
James Landry Herbert
Adi Shankar
Daniel Quinn


Clarence is a wealthy young man. He is also in love with the barmaid at his local club. When she still doesn't notice him after years of attending the club. He pays a man to help him get the girl. The suggestion in winning her over is to kidnap her and play the hero. So with their plan set into motion, one of the kidnappers is killed in the process, throwing the entire idea into chaos. He must now try and actually save her life while not letting it slip that this was all a ruse.

While Get The Girl is described as a Crime Comedy on IMDb. I believe the movie also lends itself to being considered a mean-spirited, macabre, and violent suspense flick. The movie has many moments that play up the absolute absurdity of the situation at hand for laughs, but you can't help but laugh as things continue to escalate towards a conclusion where the red stuff is thrown about by the bucket load. I think Get The Girl comes close to riding that line of horror when it comes to the bloodshed on display.

Going into this movie, I wasn't sure what to expect. I was worried that I'd watch this and get halfway through the film and realise that I couldn't even review it on the blog as it didn't fit my horror, thriller, and sci-fi horror movie criteria. Lucky for me, this is a pretty nasty little film. While the comedic element always takes the front seat. We, the horror movie audience get just enough carnage candy to keep our gruesome little hearts satisfied.

The movie takes roughly twenty minutes to get the ball rolling. These twenty minutes of the movie are there to lay out the exposition about the plan. It's also there to show us what a chump our leading actor is. As our villain and head kidnapper states, you're rich, and you can't get laid? We learn that he's just a genuinely nice guy who believes in love. His love just happens to be directed at the barmaid, and she is going through a rough patch with her ex-boyfriend.

Once the kidnapping happens, and we get the troubled barmaid back to the enormous luxurious mansion. This is where things start getting really fun. After our hostage first manages to escape, one of the men is killed when she tries to defend herself against him. It's a gruesome moment where I realised that we are indeed in for a wild, bloody ride. From this moment on, the film becomes a bloodbath as our kidnappers who are all in on the plan with the hero are trying to keep control of things while not letting our victim know he's apart of it all.

There is a twist that comes into play during the third act that I didn't see coming. It's one of the reasons why I gave Get The Girl a fresh rating. It manages to push the film just over the line for me. The twist while not precisely groundbreaking was still a gut punch. I thought it was an enjoyable way to tie everything and everyone together at the end. It was one of those a-ha moments. I'm sure smarter people will get the twist immediately, but for us less intelligent folks, it was a smart twist to me.

Now we come to the movie's issues. One of my biggest problems that I had with the film was that most of the kidnappers minus our lead kidnapper are all disposable and annoying. Only Noah Segan as Patrick was likeable or remotely charismatic out of the group of bad guys. The rest of them spend the entire movie fighting or bitching at or about each other. It's a surprise that they managed to get the plan off of the ground with how many problems the characters had between them all.

Don't even get me started on how terribly the kidnappers are written. They have been written to be bumbling morons. Within five minutes of getting to the mansion, we see our victim escape. This happens several more times during the course of the film. We have our kidnappers shooting themselves in the face, and we have them not tying or taping the victim up. It becomes tiring when you see how many times they end up making these mistakes. Just poorly written characters.

Lastly, we come to the acting. Justin Dobies has a pretty unfortunate last name but is luckily a solid actor and charming lead. I think he carries the film along with Elizabeth Whitson. I think even if the last few minutes between the actors is a bit on the cheesy side, they both deliver during the film. I've come to know Noah Segan as a man who plays the weird bad boys, and this is no exception. I think he's great as the movie's villain. The only real issue I had was with the supporting cast. Shocker! Scout Taylor-Compton whinges and cries through the entire film. I just don't get it. I'm not a fan.



- A man's fingers are slammed in a van door.
- A police officer is shot in the cheek.
- A man is shot in the head.
- A man is shot in the stomach.
- Someone is stabbed in the back with a pair of scissors.
- A woman is shot in the throat.
- A man is shot in the arm.
- A man is shot in the stomach.
- A woman is shot in the leg.

- Someone lands throat first onto a piece of glass.
- A man falls down stairs and repeatedly shoots himself in the face.

Get The Girl falls somewhere between a pitch black comedy and a thriller. The kidnap and hostage movie with buckets of the blood. More often than not successfully blends the two genres. The movie isn't without its faults. We have terribly written as well as annoying characters and the decisions they make. What drags this film just over the line at the end is the pretty clever twist. You could do worse than much Get The Girl. It's fast-paced and bloody. Most horror fans should find something to enjoy here.

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